Who Are You?

Who don't you want to be?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? 
Who are you?

That person reading this e-mail? 
That person from a week ago? A month ago? A year ago? Ten years ago? 
If you are that person today? Will you still be that person tomorrow? 
When were the layers of your identity created?

When you ask someone this question. He’ll answer with a list of ideas he’s built up over the years. Defined identities that many people tend to lock themselves into.

If you’ve lived a certain number of years on this earth, your personality has evolved. Perhaps even with it, your inner self. What defines you, your dreams and your goals.

Our aspirations are changing. Our ambitions shift. Every day is a constant renewal. We have to adapt to new situations. It aligns or misaligns us with what we dream of being.

When you look back at your previous identities, you realize how far you’ve come. We can even say to ourselves: “I can’t believe I was that.”

And yet, we were certain identities at certain times in our lives. And we were proud to be.

The question “Who are you?” takes on a whole new meaning. Are you the you who was 15, 20, 25? Your successful self. The you who failed? The you who dreamed? Your you who gave up?

A mixture of all these?

A thought exercise to prove that our identities change. They don’t define us. Who you are today won’t be who you’ll be in ten years. Or in twenty. Or tomorrow. If you only want it. 

Whatever you like about yourself: you can improve it.
Anything you don’t like about yourself: you can get rid of.

Nothing is inevitable. Those parts of us that bother us: even if it feels like they’ve merged with our inner selves. They’re just layers of identity. They’re not glued to our souls. It’s possible to shed them. They can be replaced. To mold yourself to perfection.

I’m sharing this today because I’ve talked to a lot of people. They’re locked into identities that don’t serve them. They don’t even realize it. They’ve attached personality traits to themselves. Decided to become one with that trait. These traits prevent them from reaching their full potential. They drag them through life like a ball and chain.

I have this friend who smokes. Every time we see each other. Same story. He tells me he wants to quit. He tells me he’s motivated but… “ I’m a smoker. I can’t quit. It’s who I am. I need to smoke.”

I don’t say anything. Because I don’t want to try to change those who don’t want to change. I don’t have this power. 

But was he born a smoker? When they cut his umbilical cord, did he ask a cigarette? He was a baby. A blank canvas. Before he decided to be a smoker: he wasn’t. He’s de facto not a smoker. He only chose to become one.

He may think that this identity is one with him. He can choose to believe it. To make it true. But it’s a factual lie. He can get rid of it, but he has to want to.

This is exactly the conclusion I wanted to reach. We all attach traits to ourselves that are detrimental to our development. Me, for years. I defined myself as an insomniac. Night owl. Convinced I was made that way. A prefabricated lie that I reinforced with false beliefs.

“This is my metabolism. This is my cycle. I can’t live any other way.”
Years later. I’ve regulated my cycle better. Even if it’s far from perfect. Recently, my night owl identity is trying to resurface. I’m fighting the same ghosts again. But this time I know it’s not part of me. It doesn’t have to be. I’m not made to sleep late.

Sleep wasn’t my only problem. In my youth, I was an avid soda drinker. It was part of my routine. Part of what I liked to do. I loved it. I never thought I’d be able to stop. And yet, it’s another bad habit I’ve given up over the years.

It works for what you no longer want to be. But it also works for what you want to be. It took me a long time to call myself a writer. For years, it was impossible for me to feel like a writer. This is not a good sign. It’s a sign of fear. A sense of imposture. Of not living up to the title.

It was only a few months ago that I broke this barrier. And since I’ve embraced this identity. Everything is much easier. Hesitations have disappeared. My writings have metamorphosed. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I can feel with every word I type that I’ve removed some of the shackles.

When you don’t dare embrace the identity of who you want to be. It translates to an iteration of: “I’m not good enough.” 
How can you progress if you don’t think you’re good enough? It’s a matter of survival to free yourself from these limitations.

These limiting identities cling to our beings to limit our growth. Often, I put up barriers myself. I don’t feel capable of this goal. I’m not gifted enough to do it. Once again, a lie. Nothing is stopping me from doing it. Apart myself. If I work for it. I can do it. I can succeed.

These 1000 words tell you: 

• Pay attention to the character traits you cling to. 

• You can overcome many things. But can you face yourself? That part of yourself that keeps you from being what you want to be? Are you brave enough? 

Attach yourself to identities that serve you.
Identities that will push you upwards. Identities that have positive connotations. Embrace those identities that benefit you. 
Every morning, wake up as who you want to be.

All the identities that work against you: scan them. Get rid of these weights. They’ve been ruining your life for far too long. 
No, you’re not. 
You’re not the heir to anything. 
You are not subject to the will of this body. 
You’re only subject to the will of your spirit. 
Ask yourself about these negative character traits. Why is it there? To reinforce a vice? To prevent you from growing?

If it’s a ploy of your mind, confront it. Fight it. Say no: I’m not that. I have the power choose. That identity that holds you back. Identify it. Seize it in the palm of your hand. Shatter it.

You must consciously choose who you are. Or you’re in great danger. You run the risk of never becoming who you dream to be.

Have a good Sunday.
Take care.