"To Err is Human" ... But

We all Make Mistakes… But

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

A few days ago, I was sharing about failures. 
We all make mistakes. 

Right?

The funny thing about this quote is that those who quote it always forget the second part.

“To err is human, but to persevere is diabolical.”

Add a few more words and the whole meaning changes. As if the second part of the quote had been erased by time. Mistakes are human when they’re unique. But when you keep making the same one, according to this quote, it’s “diabolical”.

The words aren’t chosen at random and we can see the duality within the two parts of the quote. On the one hand, humans can make mistakes. On the other, the gravity of the situation when we persevere in the wrong path. 

But how do you know if you’re on the wrong track? 

Sometimes we repeat them mechanically, day after day, week after week.
Sometimes even year after year. It’s only when there’s nothing left but a field of ashes that you realize the seriousness of your mistakes.

As if a veil has been placed over our eyes. 
A veil that only lifts when we’ve lost everything.

It happens in relationships. One partner doesn’t take the other’s requests seriously. For weeks, months, years. One day, the partner goes nuclear. All the accumulated resentment explodes. He/She leaves, no more discussion possible. The other finally realizes his/her mistakes. But it’s far too late. All the “I’m sorry” in the world won’t be enough, even if they’re sincere. Only tears and regret remain. And the loss of a loved one forever.

It happens in business. Entrepreneurs make mistakes day after day. Stubborn. In his bubble. He doesn’t make money for years, then one day, saddled with debt, he goes bankrupt. He could have pulled the plug before. But he had invested too much time, money and energy in his business. He knew his boat was heading straight for the bottom of the ocean, but he didn’t dare to jump. As a captain, he decided to go down with it.

It happens with our bodies. Recently, I’ve put on a little weight. It wasn’t until I got on the scale that I saw the massive difference from my weight last year. I hadn’t even realized I’d gained so much. I knew I’d gained weight. I knew my diet wasn’t right. But I had no idea it was this much.

How can we avoid making these mistakes over and over again when we seem to have so many blind spots?

When I don’t see my mistakes, it’s because I don’t want to. For weeks, I avoided the scales. And in other adventures, for weeks I’ve avoided doing balance sheets.

I knew it was bad, I just didn’t want to face reality.

You have your standards.
You know what you want. 
You know what your goals are.
Audit your targets every week.
Measure them to see where you stand.

Let’s say you have a business. 
You know the amount of money you need to earn to prosper.
If you don’t reach your goals several weeks in a row = WOUUUUUUOUUUOUUUU (not easy to mimic the sound of a gigantic alarm but you got the idea)

In relationships, it’s harder to assess. 
There are so many human feelings running through us. But I still think there’s always a little way inside us that knows when something’s not right. Like coming home one evening and sensing some weird vibes from your partner. 

When it comes to our mental state, there’s one key symptom that should ring all the bells. The loss of pleasure in what used to give us pleasure. The loss of desire. Loss of energy.

It’s called anhedonia. The inability to feel pleasure. No, it’s not normal not to like your life. No, it’s not normal to feel suffocated every day. This feeling is one of the first steps towards deep depression. Doing nothing at this point is a surefire way to visit rock bottom very soon.

As for our physical state, simple. We know our perfect weight. Don’t be like me. Get on that scale. It takes a few seconds every week, but at least you can see where you stand. My recent weigh-in put me back on the diet. And I’ve doubled up on sport. Looking at the figures, it’s frightening. We’re finally realizing that we’re on a slippery slope.

We have to develop our self-awareness. Find the little signals that should set off the alarms. React while we can. 

My internal alarm was triggered on Sunday. When I didn’t send my email. It’s been over a year since I missed a Sunday mail. It made me realize that I had a problem in my life.

Too chaotic, too many distractions, not enough focus. A heart in one of my habits was attacked. If I’m not careful, everything can collapse.

This failure is a warning to me. 
Since yesterday, I’ve been getting back to work.

I don’t want to sabotage everything I’ve built again.
I don’t want to persist in my mistakes. 
I am human. 
And I want to stay that way.