Relax

Let It Go

I sometimes receive e-mails from readers telling me about their lives. Complete strangers whom I meet only through the words I share in my publications. They reveal to me their hopes, their fears, their weaknesses… Sometimes even their suffering.

A few weeks ago, I received one and didn’t know what to answer. I told him I was going to write. I don’t know if my words will soothe his heart, but it’s worth a try.

Receiving messages from strangers isn’t something that only happens to me on the Internet. It’s something that repeats itself in my real life. In my job, I meet lots of souls every day, and you’d be surprised how much they can share with you when you take the time to listen.

People are like turtles. Curled up in their shells next to each other. They feel presence around them, but they don’t see each other. They’re all surrounded but feel alone. They don’t reveal any part of themselves because they’re afraid of being judged.

Often, all that’s needed to bring people out is to knock knock on their shells with a little word or a smile. 

When I meet a couple: 
“How long have you been together?” is always a hit. 
You’re sure to get an incredible story.

How he saw her, this first day of high school. On this bench. He saw in her eyes something he’d never seen before. He remembers her clothes perfectly. The position of her body. How she raised her hand to straighten her hair. How his heart raced as he passed her by. He didn’t know what was going on inside him, but he knew: she was special.

She’ll tell you how she blushed when she felt his gaze on her. How she looked up and fled when their eyes did meet. How embarrassed she felt at not being able to hide her emotions.

How it took them months to get close. As if two universes were about to collide, but fearing the amplitude of the explosion.

They’ll tease each other when they tell you who declared their love first. Unique cute anecdotes filled with love. 

How they got married. And how the tiny human who’s playing with the pen on my desk is the fruit of this story.

If you want to find out what’s next. 

“Is he your only child?” 

Some will tell you that they only have one and that’s enough. Some will tell you he was unexpected but welcome. Others say they have 2 and that it’s hard, a challenge because the two ages are so close.

The most surprising will tell you… twelves! 
I almost fell off my chair too. She told me about life at home, the military organization to make it all work, a real little regiment.

That makes me a very bad salesman (which I’m sure you’ve noticed, since I still haven’t released the (already written) writing course I was supposed to sell months ago hahaha. I’ll edit it soon. Promised).

Instead of pressing the sale, sometimes we spend hours talking and it drifts into politics, religion, family, life… When I was younger, I wanted to become a psychologist. 1+1 = always 2.

That’s how I learned a ton of stories. And maybe that’s why, for the past few years, I’ve had new things to tell you every week.

And among those stories, there are a few that have stayed with me. Some I’ll probably never forget.

There was this couple, they’d been together for over 50 years. I’ve never seen so much love between two bodies. They both radiated a magical grace. A luminous aura that contaminates everything around them. It’s like you are able to stare at the center of the sun.

What a strange experience to witness the perfect communion of bodies and souls.

They cared so much for each other. The husband adjusting the chair for his wife. The wife stroking her husband’s arm from time to time. The way they communicated with each other with deep respect. The little smiles they share. How they hold their hands. In this center seems to hold a treasure.

I asked him what their secret was. 
He said, smiling: 

“Never go to bed angry with each other. Resolve conflicts before the next day. Because one angry day can become two. And from then on, danger lurks.”

I also had this lady who told me such an awesome story. 

She and her husband couldn’t have children. She underwent several IVF procedures. I don’t remember the exact number but it was around 5. She told me how painful each one was. How she had to deal with the hope… and then the devastation of the bad news. 
After so much failure, her doctor said: “I’m sorry but we have to stop. You’ll never have children. We’ve tried, but it’s getting dangerous. You also have to take care of yourself.”

So she stopped. She cried a lot. She resigned herself. Then, when she had let go. When she no longer expected it. About two years later, she got pregnant naturally. And you should have seen her eyes when she told me that. She named her son after an angel.

But because the world is made up of polarity. 
I’ve heard some devastating stories too.

This woman I saw several times. The first time, happy and radiant. She was about to get married. She was telling me all about the preparations for the wedding, how long she’d been looking forward to it, what a great and unique party it would be.

A few months later, as soon as she walked in, I sensed that she was strange. It only took a few minutes for her to burst into tears.

Her future husband has left. 
With another woman. 
Overnight.

There are different kinds of tears. 

Little tears we have when we’re sad or when our emotions are too full. It helps relieve those little pressures on your heart.

Then there are the bigger tears when something more serious happens. These allow you to heal yourself.

And then there are the tears when part of your soul has been ripped away. There’s something special about those tears: as they roll down your cheek, you can feel a part of you slipping away. That you’ll never be the same person again. These are necessary for survival.

You know what kind of tears she shared. And witnessing that is unsettling. You don’t know what to say… and there’s nothing to say.  

There are no words powerful enough to soothe that kind of pain. No hug gentle enough. You can only listen and share a fragment of that pain to lighten the weight crushing that person.

Time is the only cure. 

Luckily, I saw her again, 2 years later. Big smile. She told me… she was getting married! And this time, it was a success. I met her husband, he seems great, caring and they’re happy.

The happy ending that was not expected but deserved.

Unfortunately, life is life. Sometimes there’s no happy ending, just an ending. And you have to survive.

I knew this lady, for whom I worked a lot and with whom I was lucky enough to have several conversations. She was telling me about her son who does sports. Her husband, her work. About their happy life. I also met her husband at some point.

And… the last time she needed my services. 
She enters, I smile. 
I ask her: 
“Is everyone all right?”
I swear she said these exact words:
“He’s dead.”

I was shocked. 

One day, he had chest pains. That evening, he decided to go to the hospital. During the night, he died. He wasn’t old. There was no sign that this was going to happen. We talked about her son, who had closed in on himself, and the mourning she was trying to deal with. 

That’s the paradox of life. 
Which reminds me part of a poem I wrote one year ago: Listen

Listen

Life will caress you.
Life will brutalize you.
It’ll give you everything one day.
It’ll take it all away the other one.

The infinitely magnificent meets the infinitely cruel in a cosmic dance that no one will ever be able to understand.

And if you’re in the infinitely difficult or the infinitely cruel. If you feel you’re becoming allergic to life. No, I’m not going to tell you that everything will work out. That’s a lie because I don’t know. 

But I can tell you to try to take one day at a time. 
To live each day as a little life. 
Every survival as a victory.

To let the warmth of the sun embrace you.
To look at the beauty of the sky.
To feel the sweetness of the wind.
To sit on the grass and feel your hands on the ground.
To gaze up at the stars and moon and let them soothe you. 
To smell some flowers. 
To listen to the songs you love. 
To do those things you like to do or have always liked to do. 
To say I love you to those who mean something to you. 
To give them a hug. 
To take care of yourself. 
To give yourself a hug.

There are songs you love when you’re young. You don’t know why. You think it’s because of the catchy rhythm. You never paid much attention to the lyrics. You were busy living. Then later, with life experience, that song comes back to you and you understand.

To all those who have sent me messages to share their sorrow, I’d like to share with you this song that I enjoyed listening to at the most difficult times.

“Took a right to the end of the line
Where no one ever goes
Ended up on a broken train with nobody i know
but the pain and the longing the same where the dying 
Now I’m lost and I’m screaming for help alone.”

But even in this place. 
We should never forget.

“There is an answer to the darkest time.
…
Don’t scream, there are so many roads left to run.

Relax, take it easy.”

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