Do You Want it Enough?
This Answer Unlocks Everything
A few weeks ago, a friend asked me for help. He needed a strategy to build his online presence. He told me that he dreams of working exclusively online. Of building his network so he can sell his services. He’s been thinking about it for a long time and he’s ready.
I was thrilled with the idea. The young man is gifted. He’s smart. With hard work, I’m sure he’ll be able to break through. I spent several days with him. Put together a complete strategy, and he was enthusiastic.
Checking in a few weeks later: “So, how’s it going?”
I’ll spare you the blabla [insert random excuses].
He had already quit.
I was disappointed.
I was angry because I had spent a lot of time helping him for free.
His enthusiasm convinced me that this was what he wanted.
And at the first hurdle, he gave up.
As he tried to smear some excuses, I exploded:
“Ah?
Well, I thought you wanted it?
Weren’t you the one who came to me full of enthusiasm?
Weren’t you the one who told me this was your dream?
So you wanted it, but you didn’t want to sacrifice anything?
Maybe you thought that wanting was enough to get it?
No.
You have to want it intensely.
You have to be obsessed with the idea.
Think about it, morning, noon and night.
Because your real competitors, the ones who are going to succeed.
They’re people consumed by their dreams.
Consumed by their desire to succeed.
Do you think you deserve to succeed when they work 10x harder than you?
Do you think it’s not hard for them?
Instead of getting discouraged, they roll up their sleeves and keep going.
Well, it’s not so bad.
As soon as a difficulty arose, you gave up.
Maybe this thing wasn’t what you wanted after all.
It was a whim, a fantasy, not a dream.
This dream, you don’t deserve it.”
I was a bit harsh. But I’m hard on the people I love.
His story is a recurring one. I’ve tried to help a lot of people, and it’s happened several times that after a few weeks: “It’s too hard.”
I spare them my monologue and move on.
Of course, it’s hard.
Making a dream come true.
It’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life.
It requires sacrifices that most of us are unable to make.
For those who are allergic to effort, dreams will always remain distant chimeras.
This guy had that dream.
It only took him a few weeks to give up.
I guess he didn’t want it enough.
I only have one question
Do you want it enough?
Its a question that keeps popping up whenever I feel unmotivated and "not in the mood" to write a weekly post. Isnt it why you quit Instagram/social media, because you wanted to spend more time writing and reading?
Somewhere along the way, it feels that we or society, just skipped the most important part of that journey, the work before you reach your goal. We only see people's results, the goal, the dream - but not the actual labour that it took to get there. We want it fast and now, and preferably with not much effort.
In Norwegian we have a saying "ingen dans på roser" - "not a dance on roses", I frequently come back to that, probably to remind myself that it is not supposed to be easy, and that the journey as much as the goal, is also part of the process of getting your dream.
Thanks for this Viam. Your “get real” speech in this context of you helping someone that thought they wanted something is a good reminder to me too. So much of what actually comes into being does so because I call it in not just with my mind, but with heart and hands and feet.